Why am I marrying Erin?
People who have never met my wonderful fiancé often ask me these types of questions, wondering why I choose to marry her, what stood out to me about her, what I love about here, and so on. Before my relationship with her, I honestly had no idea what to look for in a girl. Sure, I knew the lovey-dovey clichés but other than that, I was hopeless.
How physically attractive does she need to be? Do we have to agree on everything? Is it a bad sign if we fight? What if we don’t have the same favorite TV show? How smart does she need to be? Does she need to laugh at all my jokes including the bad ones? What if I’m not sure whether or not she’s “the one?”
Questions like these and many others flooded my thoughts and fed my doubts.
A few months before I began pursuing Erin, God began showing me the type of lady that I should marry. While there are many reasons why I’m marrying my beautiful fiancé, I’ve narrowed it down to five key reasons (in no particular order) why I chose to pursue a marriage with her:
She loves Jesus more than anyone else…including me.
This was a must. As Paul encouraged the Christians in Corinth, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).
Erin loves Jesus with all of her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Even more important is the fact that she loves Jesus more than she loves me.
Unfortunately, I’ve dated girls in the past that have viewed our relationship as more important than their relationship with God; I came first in their life instead of God. Even though this made me feel good, deep down, I knew it was wrong and not healthy for either of us.
With Erin, I know that Jesus will always be the most important man in her life. My role is not to be Erin’s “god” but to reflect the character and grace of God to her through the way that I love and serve her (Eph 5:25-33).
She loves people.
Erin loves people the way Jesus loves us. Her heart is bent to place others before her, laying down her life for others the way that Jesus laid down His life for us (1 John 3:16).
She’s my faithful best friend.
Erin is without a doubt my best friend. Yes, I have a couple other amazing and close friends in my life but Erin is by far the best. We enjoy doing pretty much anything together, we care about each other more than the other can comprehend (doesn’t make sense, right?), and we aren’t afraid to confront one another in love.
Erin will always be my faithful best friend because she is incredibly loyal and honors her commitments.
She doesn’t need me and I don’t need her.
Erin doesn’t need me. I don’t need Erin.
Don’t get me wrong; we both love and want each other. However, we both know that if we were to have never ended up together, our souls would still be completely satisfied by God and Him alone. This reason may confuse some. Allow me to explain:
We both understand and believe that no human can completely satisfy another. We both understand and believe that Hollywood’s portrayal of “the one” is a complete lie and can never truly be found. Yes, we do believe God is sovereign. However, we don’t think any single human being can completely satisfy the deepest desires of our souls.
Erin and I both understand and believe that Jesus is the only person that could ever completely satisfy our souls. As Jesus said, “But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again…” (John 4:14). This is why we aren’t supposed to be each other’s reason for living; God is. The purpose of our relationship is to point each other as well as others to Jesus because He truly is all we need.
She is willing to go anywhere and do anything for God.
This characteristic of Erin constantly amazes me. Her humble and submissive heart reminds me of Ruth’s words, “Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” (Ruth 1:16). Because my life may possibly be devoted to full-time ministry, I needed a lady that would be willing to joyfully go at any time wherever God called us to go. It is Erin’s joy every single day of her life to go wherever God calls her and do whatever God asks of her. Her entire life is devoted to God and His kingdom.
Concluding Thoughts
I love this woman. If I believed in luck, I would undoubtedly think that I was the luckiest person alive.
On Saturday, November 9th, 2013 (four weeks from TONIGHT), her and I will commit our lives to each other by making a marital covenant before God, our families, and our friends. It is our hope and prayer that our marriage would be a means to point each other as well as the people that God places in our lives to Jesus. I ask you to please pray for us as we begin this exciting new chapter in our lives.
Tyler A. Saldaña 